You're a womanizer and a bitch.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize