I'm jealous of your bromance
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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