so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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