Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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