I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
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Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
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I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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