I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
