wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
