i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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