he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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