remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
