So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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