just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
