Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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