Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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