Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
