I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
