He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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