They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
