I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
