I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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