Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
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Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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