I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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