is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
