worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
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Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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