her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
