as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
