he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
