Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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