Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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