You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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