Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
