Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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