Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
