Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize