You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
