he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
