a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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