Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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