And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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