My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize