Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
