I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize