Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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