She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize
