I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Randomize
