i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
