I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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