Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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