Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
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