I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
