Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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