Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
