But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
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I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
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you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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