More tranny stories later!
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
