Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
a search helicopter?!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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