You're completely useless in the revolution.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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