I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just forgot I was standing up.
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