i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm