I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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