Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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