This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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