***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
