i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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