WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
